14 Comments
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Dom De Luca's avatar

Terrific post. I'm Canadian - born to two Italian immigrants. I am a romantic - always have been. Had no idea that the nonchalance, pretend to feel nothing persona was rooted in religion. Terrific insight.

For me, feeling big is not a choice, it's a reality.

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Laura Roscioli's avatar

I’m the same. Feeling big is also something I really enjoy. Let’s celebrate it!

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Alma Jette's avatar

absolutely loved this one. I have a friend who is CRASHING out over a 4 month relationship and I keep thinking how nice it is to be around someone who truly lets themself FEEL. (which I occasionally think I am determined to never do again because my heart got so broken two years ago.) thanks for sharing this, in the same vein... loved it.

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Laura Roscioli's avatar

Feeling is the best. ❤️

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Echoing Gaia's avatar

Beautifully written and it's a refreshing perspective. I also come from a Latin (catholic) culture but grew up in Nordic (protestant) cultures... I've often felt off when it comes to emotionality in relations. This historical perspective on romance and feeling is eye opening! Thank you for it

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Noah's avatar

On one hand you have to be vulnerable to truly connect, on the other hand don't build someone up in your mind before the relationship actually progresses to that point. (This is not a criticism of the author; this is a criticism of my younger self)

To the author, very enjoyable writing!

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Not-Toby's avatar

Excellently written. Envious of your Italian dream 😩

I worry that OLD, in depersonalizing everything and speeding up rejection, strongly incentivizes this sort of closed-offedness. Everyone gets guarded as hell and then wonders why they’re not finding love.

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Laura Roscioli's avatar

Everyone gets guarded as they get older? Is that what you’re saying?

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Not-Toby's avatar

Ahh I meant online dating 😅 I guess that acronym doesn’t travel

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Sophia's avatar

This was so lovely to read- it makes me think about my year abroad in Spain at 18.

I remember being so struck by my host father’s evident, explicit love and adoration of his daughters (my host sisters) and his wife (my host mom). I realized how deprived of vibrancy, of life force, my own relationships to people had been in the states, particularly to my own dad.

Also had a few life-giving romances that will stick with me forever (love a Lizzie McGuire moment)! :)

thank you for sharing and allowing me to reflect. Love and hugs from Atlanta, Georgia! 💛

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Laura Roscioli's avatar

Thank you for sharing ❤️ incredible you were able to have a coming of age moment in the vibrant love of Europe, too. It’s life changing stuff

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Greta's avatar

I love this so much Laura!! Thank you!

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Jázmin Pusztai's avatar

is it better to speak or to die?

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Rowan Vale Writes's avatar

I absolutely love this post, and the manner in which you told your story. You're gifted. The moment in Italy is dream-worthy. It's the type of love, wild, passionate, and authentic, that we all dream about. The juxtaposition between that moment and the societal norm of nonchalance is such a painful one. I'm so sorry you went through that.

I believe wholeheartedly that romance is sacred. That there is truth and freedom in expression of big, bold, dreamy romance. No, it isn't to be forced, but when it's felt, feel it fully.

Part of why I write romance is because of this -- because I'm a man that wants to change the tide of romance, to write and inspire men to be tender and authentic and sensual.

Thank you for your post. I'm really glad to have found you on here.

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